“Anasara Status”

It’s totally the fishbowl effect all over again. We must have reiterated this a million times during RA training, but now it’s on a scale that is unbelievable. These people see EVERYTHING we do! We are called “anasara” here, which means ‘stranger’ and often ‘white person,’ although even black PCVs get called anasara because they are foreign and everyone knows it (lighter skin, different look, different language, etc). People often think that we have tons of money, so they will often try to make us pay massive amounts more for food and items at the market. We spend a lot of time learning to bargain. People stare in bush taxis, they talk about us when we walk by, and the children follow you throughout the market for no reason other than to just look at you. When we were stopped in a bush taxi, there were a few small children who came over and stood at the window just staring for 15 minutes.

I have been told that villagers are proud of their anasara, but they will be more up in your business than you can ever imagine. If you are a female and over the age of 20 and not married, it’s pretty much unheard of. You have to have a really good excuse as to why you aren’t married. Some of the PCVs enjoy the exchange between themselves and villagers as they explain that in the United States, most people wait until much later to get married and have children. They will often try to ‘find you a husband.’ If you claim to be single, men will constantly propose to you. I think it gets to the point where some PCVs make up stories. “I have a boyfriend” often doesn’t cut it because they wonder why you aren’t engaged. You can say you’re married, but that brings up the idea that ‘a woman is nothing without her husband’ and why is he not here with you? And as a female PCV, if you have a boy over in your concession for the night, people automatically think you are dating, and most likely having sex outside of marriage. If a boyfriend does visit, many PCVs tell their villagers that he is another PCV or NGO worker visiting for a project. Others say they are engaged, but then you might want a ‘chaperone’ to stay the night as well…Any which way, it’s a difficult situation to come from an environment that has completely different views on male/female relationships. I have yet to figure out what my excuses are for when my male friends visit.

Not to mention the lack of affection in this society. I guess it comes in different forms, but it's hard when you have a bad day and you just want a hug, and you aren't allowed to do that in public. Even married couples don't hold hands, kiss, or hug, yet they make LOTS of babies! Haha. You will often see men and men or women and women holding hands because it's more acceptable (homosexuality is illegal, so the idea that this is considered gay is unthinkable). I guess I just need to get my lovin' on from my girlfriends here.